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What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

13.06.2025 01:17

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Does a narcissist ever get their comeuppance/karma for the vile things they've done? Such as cheating, smear campaign, etc.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I’m 26 years old and a married woman. My husband hates my flat chest. What is the permanent solution?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What qualities do single women typically look for in a man? Is it a common preference for women to want a man who earns more than they do?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I’m a 25 year old teacher teaching at boys school & I have colleagues younger than me. I caught one of my students telling her he wanted her as his teacher instead & it hurt my feelings. They compliment her a lot. It makes me jealous. What do I do?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I want to have anal sex, but my wife refuses. What do I do?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...